How to Cope with Breakup...
This may be your girl/boy friend or husband/wife/partner or even a very close
friend. One day you may find them very close to you and almost the next day you
discover they have left you for another, maybe even cleaned you out financially
or may have been cheating you and laughing behind your back for ages. This
break up or separation may have a profound impact on you. You feel betrayed. At
a total loss and extremely raw and hurtful.
Tracy discovered
that her spouse is cheating on her. She was devastated.
She got so stressed out that she lost 40 pounds in two months!
Yes... you will be devastated, shocked, unable to comprehend why this happened:
Rage
will take over, anger, then jealousy of that other person.
You
will want revenge...
Or
self doubts may come creeping in, you were not good enough for him/her,
you were incompetent , you are a looser...
Or
maybe even shame, how could you have been so gullible? what will your
friends say, you will become a total laughing stock, you were ditched oh
boy...
Kathy had to cope with the irony
and heart break of a break up on Valentines day;
Jim battled to make sense of the ugly truth of a Cheating Wife;
Hey, STOP!
Take charge before you loose control. Here is how to cope with break ups:
1. Yes there will definitely be a
period of intense shock, anger, hatred, jealousy, self doubts etc. Maybe
even total disorientation and re-adjustments. Remember by letting your
emotions control you are allowing the final triumph to your ‘opponent’. So
don’t let this period of heightened emotions last more than 3 days.
2.
Don’t feed on these emotions to sustain them. Just like you would very
willingly go under a surgeons knife to cut off a cancerous growth, treat
this situation like a cancer. Say you have just got a confirmation from
your doctor that you have cancer. And you must get out from under it’s
influence as fast as you can. So you can first sit down and cry, scream or
rant then let it sink in. Accept the fact and then concentrate on the
healing process. Let it go.
3.
Ok Get this straight. Something definitely went wrong in that
relationship, but first thing first... You are not the cause of it.
Period.
4.
Don’t waste your energies and remaining finances in ‘getting back at
him’ or getting revenge. It’s better for you this way. Let this
abusive, unappreciative person go. Nature works in it’s own ways. The
world is full of excellent people, and this is it’s way of enabling you
reach someone more appreciative of you.
Coping With a break up, Dave desperately wanted to
reverse time and get back with the love of his life; For Kim the only
answer was bitter Divorce; Yet Gina wanted to save her Failing
Marriage…
5.
First take stalk of your situation. What do you need to do to get back in
control? How do you recoup your losses? Talk to someone you trust. Do you
need to talk to your lawyer?
6.
Next you may need a change of ‘scene’ doing something totally
different from what you used to do together. Can you take a few days ‘change
of scene’ vacation and go somewhere else or do something totally
different.
7. Concentrate on building up your life
and start the healing process. Remember the world is huge, beautiful and
full of surprises. This is a ‘re-birth’ for you – a chance to start over
again and make something better. Remember it’s not your loss, it’s a gain
– a bonus from nature to escape from a relationship that was not going
anywhere. So make the exit gracefully and positively and make a grand
entrée in to your new life. People are going to respect you for it.
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